10 Things People Don’t Realize You’re Doing Because You’re an Extroverted Introvert

1. You hate talking on the phone, even with your closest friends. This is very confusing for most since you’re very blunt and social in person. But since you’re kinda an introvert too, you dread talking on the phone because the conversation is robbed of any visual or physical cues. You rely heavily on observation skills, and all your nodding and facial expressions are of no use, making it frustrating. You hate the phone. 

2. Your internal life is a contrast to your bold personality. You’re the first to speak up when something is unjust, your sharp tongue can get you into trouble, you can be blunt to a fault. But you rarely reveal your introspective side, the side where you overthink everything, question everything, the side where even the smallest things can stress you out and override your nerves.

3. You appear mysterious. It’s definitely not intentional. Just because you can be the life of the party, doesn’t mean you can outwardly express your feelings and spill our whole life story in the first hour of meeting someone. Or the first year. It honestly takes you a while to truly warm up to someone. Unlike a real extrovert, you need to feel the person out first.  

4. Consequently, you’re not a “group of friends” person. Instead, you have one (maybe two) best friends who are your entire life. This is so confusing, since you’re very social when you are out and connect with people easily. But in reality, even though you can make anyone feel comfortable, you probably feel fully comfortable, with like, two people. 

5. It’s the upkeep that’s the challenge. You don’t reach out to people. You’re often inside your head. While you need deep connections with people to feel fulfilled, sometimes you feel the maintenance to be challenging.

6. That’s why when you do become close to someone, you’ll love them forever. Your friendships are the kind where you can pick up right where you left off, no matter how much time has passed - and those are the only ones you need. 

7. Coffee can actually be counter-productive for you. You might avoid it before a big meeting or important event. Since you’re an introvert too, coffee can actually overstimulate your central nervous system that may cause you to feel overwhelmed and exhausted, rather than excited and engaged. 

8. You ebb and flow between observing people and being the one in charge. It all depends on your mood.

9. Dating is awkward. You hate it. Here’s the thing, you love laughing with people and joking around. You love making fun of yourself. You love doing something spontaneous that doesn’t involve the typical first date bullshit. What you hate is the cliché conversations, the barriers that small talk (which often comes with dating) creates between people, so you try to avoid dating at all costs.

10. Similarly, you dislike traditional systems.  Most of our societal constructs cater to the extrovert - from large office spaces to loud bars to the structure of our educational system. It makes you uncomfortable and stressed. You like the unconventional. You’re drawn to authenticity, to character, to people who don’t give a damn about how things “should be.” You often confuse everyone around you (including yourself) but just blame it on your mad layers of depth and feelings…like an onion. Or something.  And while life with you can be stressful, at least it’s never boring.