Why Are You Afraid of Losing Him When He's Not Afraid of Losing You

There was an instant connection. You laughed with so many, but with this one, it was different. Talking 5 minutes with him made you feel more alive than anything - and no label of what you officially were or weren’t could ever change that.

And he felt it, too. The way he looked at you, how tenderly he listened, the way he just got you.

But not too long into your magic, things started to turn. He started appreciating you less and less in a million different ways. He stopped appreciating your love, your connection, and all the ways you loved him. You felt it - you felt him slowly getting swayed as more people tried to get his attention. You felt him pushing you away. You felt him not really being afraid of losing you - because he knew that eventually, you would always take him back.

You never, ever have to feel like that.

Be with someone who is afraid of losing you - because without you, nothing is quite as beautiful. Be with someone who appreciates all of you. Be with someone who would never, ever risk losing what you have because they know that it comes once in a lifetime. Be with someone who recognizes extraordinary love, who sees you, all of you, someone who chooses you every single day.

Be with someone who you don’t just have intense eye contact with, because it’s not about how he looks at you, it’s not about how he touches you, it’s about how he shows you he cares, it's about the decisions he makes every day. Like when you’re not there, when he feels on top of the world, when he can get anyone he wants but still chooses you. You deserve someone who knows what they have and would never feel the need to explore any ‘options’ because in their heart they know they don’t really have another option.

Someone who has you in their heart so much that they know that none of those “options” will ever truly satisfy him, make him feel inspired, alive or understood.

I know he made you feel something no else made you feel before. And he probably felt it, too. But I also know that someone who isn’t putting in the effort that you need from them, isn’t afraid of losing you. Someone who loves you hard and then pushes you away when you’re not convenient anymore, is not afraid to lose you. Someone who tells you beautiful, heartfelt things and promises but somehow always ends up breaking your heart, is not afraid of losing you.

So why are you afraid of losing him?

Be with someone who deserves all of you. Be with someone who would never risk losing you. Be with someone who executes his love - with actions, effort, patience - someone who appreciates you in a million little different ways. Someone who you frustrate the hell out of and then they stop to gaze at you because they think, this is the problem I want to have.

You had something special, and this is why you are so afraid to lose him. I know. But a real connection is never lost, and you should never, ever hold on to someone who only wants to be there when it’s good for him. You never, ever have to convince or inspire anyone to choose you, and you can’t lose a person who you never really had.

Wait for the guy who will get it. Wait for the guy who will do everything that it takes to be with you. Wait for the guy who thinks about you, listens to you, who takes his time to do things right. There will be that guy, a more extraordinary guy, and when you meet him, you will understand why it didn’t work out with the last one.

And above all, don’t ever be afraid to lose anyone who is not afraid to lose you.


Anna Bashkova

Blogger from NYC.

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