An Open Letter to the Girl Who Cares Too Much

You probably think there's something wrong with you.

You’ve always cared too much, loved too hard. Maybe someone has told you that you’re too challenging, too difficult. 

That's what it was, wasn't it? You loved someone, and they told you that your love was suffocating, that you were too controlling, too demanding. They told you they didn't want it, that they couldn’t handle you.

And it left you so angry, because you only wanted the best for him. You demand more from everyone because you see great potential. You’re passionate because you care.

The first time they told you this, it broke your heart, because you thought they were broken. As the fights continued, it broke your heart because you started to believe they didn’t want you.

Maybe I am too difficult, too controlling, you started thinking to yourself. Maybe I am too emotional, and that was the problem. 

But that’s not true at all.

As the girl who cares too much, you can’t imagine how important your love is. Your love, it changes people. You love with every fiber of your being and it’s the opposite of control - you want people to ignite in their passions - to become the greatest versions of themselves.

Maybe you fought with your ex too much, maybe you argued with them at inopportune times. But your anger was fueled by your passion and emotions for them. You cared. You loved them. Don't regret it. Don't regret anything. 

The truth is, he wasn’t ready. Not everyone is ready for love. His past, his demons, whatever the reason was, he started to push you away. Maybe he loved you in a way you have never been loved but he still wasn’t ready. And I know that is the hardest thing to accept. But you have to let go of the thought that you're too much, too hard to love. Because you never ever have to convince or inspire someone to do the work to be ready for you. You never have to inspire someone to appreciate your love.  

Trust me, one day he will understand how special you are, if he hasn’t realized it by now. He will realize how you never let him get away with slacking on his talents or putting in effort towards the relationship because you knew what you had. You wanted your love to last. And he was never left uninspired or unsatisfied. You challenged him because you loved him.

Caring too much is a gift. People are so desensitized nowadays. Everyone is playing a game - they are all afraid to say too much, to feel too deeply, to let people know what they mean to them. They may be safe, but life begins outside the comfort zone. 

One day, someone will be ready for you. Someone will be ready for it. And it will be extraordinary, there will be more love than you have ever seen.

So keep being open, do not harden yourself to the world, don’t ever desensitize yourself. Embrace yourself, love yourself like you loved him; you thought his imperfections were perfect, do that for yourself. Never stop. There is a serious lack of people in the world like you. We need you caring too much now more than ever. 

There is nothing wrong with you.


Anna Bashkova

Blogger from NYC.

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