To My Fellow Women, Please Don't Wait for Them

Not for ‘the one,’ not for someone to complete you, and especially, especially, not for them to change.

I know how much you care, how deeply you loved them, and how much they loved you. But the truth is, the only actions you can control are yours. Someone can be madly in love with you, lift you up, give you something that you’ve never felt before, but still not be ready. And that is the hardest thing to accept. But once you do, once you stop waiting for them to change, to grow up, to be ready, that’s when you truly start living. That’s when you will create a life that you want to live.

Instead of waiting, crave more from yourself. Work on yourself. You did it for your ex - Why can't you do that for yourself? Think about how much you loved your ex. How much you cared, how you never let them get away with slacking on their talents and passions, how you never gave up on them - do the same for yourself.

Instead of waiting, craft the qualities that you want from your ‘other half’ in yourself  – be that stability, excitement, validation or understanding. 

Stop waiting around for someone else to show up and change your life. There is no one who can change your life more extraordinary than you. 

Stop looking for 'the one' to spend the rest of your life with.

Instead of looking, be the one.

There is a whole world out there to be explored. When you stop waiting around for a person to come un-break your heart, make you feel complete, satisfied and alive again, that’s when you truly start living.

So please, don’t wait for answers, for apologies or for them to become the person that you already are. Don’t wait for them to realize what they lost and how they messed up and that life is miserable without you. Don't wait for them to come back. Don’t wait for their heart to open and for their selfish ways to change.

Don’t wait for anyone or for anything.

It won’t be easy, it will take time, but it’s the journey that’s the most fulfilling.

And I’ll tell you a secret, there is a more extraordinary love out there that you would never know if it didn’t end it with the last one. But it all has to start with you - be the person who you’re looking for and let everybody else come searching for you.


Anna Bashkova

Blogger from NYC.

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